Want Love and a Healthy Relationship? How you Answer these 3 Questions can be the Key

Ah, to be in a relationship…
with someone who is kind to you, with someone who genuinely enjoys your company, a partner in life who is supportive because they believe in you…

Sound like something you want?
Imagining how good that might make you feel?

It does sound like a healthy relationship, doesn’t it?
But does it really begin with finding the right person?

Consider the possibility that your relationship with yourself is actually the key that determines the health (and longevity) of any committed relationship you want to be in. 

It’s so very natural for us to want a healthy, close relationship with someone special – someone who likes, and cares about us, someone who will be there for us.

Many women I talk with express that, very simply, what they want in their relationships (whether their current or hopeful future ones) is:

    • to feel safe and not judged
    • to feel like they will be heard / understood
    • to have a genuine connection

Yet, I would venture to say that most of us – on a regular basis:

    • are quite judgmental with ourselves
    • rarely listen, truly listen, to our own hearts speak
    • and are often so busy going through the motions of life that we don’t have a deep connection with our inner selves

Sound familiar?

Well, here’s a Valentine’s Day idea… what if your relationship with yourself was one you paid lots of attention to this month? Might that make a difference in your world?

When you’re mindful and intentional about how you relate to yourself every day, the relationships you have with others are nourished by the results. {tweet this quote}


Think about it… if you had a beautifully healthy relationship with yourself, how would you show up when interacting with other people?

If you knew yourself really well, if you gave yourself permission to do things on a regular basis that make you happy, if you actually liked and believed in yourself –
would you move through life feeling more self-confident and content?

I must say, I love meeting folks who have that kind of contentment and connection with themselves. It feels good to be around someone who has access to their own happiness.
And that is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with a partner.

So how do you have a healthy relationship with yourself?
Well, just like any other – its important to nourish and not neglect it.

To start with…

Here are 3 powerful questions to ask yourself:

and my suggestion — don’t just answer them quickly right now.
Instead, spend some time simply thinking about them this month.
Notice what your honest answers are as you observe how you maneuver through everyday life.

  • How do you speak to yourself?
    — you know, inside your head, where no one can hear.
    Do you find that you call yourself names or are verbally abusive in a way you would never be with someone else? Or are you gentle, even encouraging (you know, the way you might want your partner to be with you)?
  • Do you enjoy spending time alone with yourself?
    — truly alone. Not trolling through Facebook feeds or email, but just you and your thoughts – perhaps on a walk or writing in a journal. Have you listened to your thoughts lately? Or does that have a tendency to scare you or make you want to change the subject by putting a TV show on?
  • Do you believe in yourself?
    — do you like the way you are moving through your life? if you do, do you acknowledge yourself for it? if you don’t, are you willing to look inside for the courage to make small changes?

These questions might feel good or not so good for you when you think about them.
I offer them as a jumping off point for you to be in conversation with yourself. After all, healthy relationships are built on honest communication.

With so many people thinking about love and relationships this month, I think February is the perfect time to think about our often overlooked relationships with ourselves.

Why not reclaim this month of pink hearts and romance for something deeper and more empowering.
Spend some time on dates with yourself!

From the healthy love that grows there, I think you’ll enjoy how other relationships may unfold over the year.

[photo credit: PsychologyToday.com]


Share your Thoughts…

I’d love to hear.
Do these questions stir up something in you?
Is there one small change this inspires for how you relate to yourself?
Do you already answer these questions in a way you love?
Notice anything about how this affects your world?



Katrina Piehler is a writer, workshop leader, wellness coach & bodyworker who loves helping busy women re-connect with their spirits & transform their lives!  With an intuitive and uplifting approach, she creates programs & workshops that bring women together in empowering community. She also offers powerfully individualized coaching and bodywork sessions to support you on your journey of awesome living!
To chat with her about her offerings, connect with her here for a complimentary phone consultation.